2000-2003

here are some items i dug up from a couple years ago...


Dreams Upon a Frozen Sky

Blue, icy swirls,
Dancing in my head,
Piercing blue icicles,
Stabbing me in my bed.
Sapphire colored circles,
Rotating me, rotating my mind,
Cobalt beads falling out of my hands,
Cascading around me, leaving a part of me behind.
I twist and turn, in this indigo haze,
Which envelops me within its embrace,
And I lose my self to this azure hell,
That lures me, fastens me within its glacial shell...
It won't let go.


Caustic love

Prolific pain purges through my veins,
I feel it, felt it, felt you,
Standing behind me, breathing down my neck
Asking me, again and again, will you?
Will you come with me?
Will you hold me, when it's dark and cold
and lonely?
Will you be there when I wake up,
With sweat dripping down my face,
My heart racing, pulsating,
faster and faster,
Till the world drops from beneath my feet,
And we are flung across the vast space we
call the universe?
And I turn around, hold you close, hold you
in my arms,
And tell you that it will be ok, as long as
your heart beats next to mine.


Nirvana

I hear your words, surging through me,
Searching for that little trigger,
Searching for that little push,
That sends me falling back into no one's arms.
My body quivers, shakes uncontrollably
With your power pitched by your voice,
I sway, I hang, I fall....
into your abyss.

Oblivion

Today I know nothing
Today I realized that I am empty
For today is the day I liberate my soul
And offer it to you along with my heart.

Blood around me fades away to a mist that
Calls out my name, over and over,
The haunting echo, quaking my core,
I’m lost in my dreams, tell me it’s over now

Won’t you guide me, though I’m beyond your guidance,
Help me face myself, the image in the mirror
Trapped inside is someone, who was once good
Born away from this bloodshed, away from this terror.

Glazed over an innocent past are the lies embedded in my skin,
Rushing through my veins is the venom from you words within,
That sprung forth like an adder’s forked tongue,
My head lolls to the side, my body numb.

I don’t know anything no more,
The truth is this that it’s all lies,
The fake is real the real is fake,
Am I still dreaming or am I awake.

Your day

Blades of grass crush beneath my hands
As I gaze over the vast lush lands
Of times long ago when I was a mere child
So I stare at the sky trying to understand.

Grace is pure when the wind is true,
Let it go, and see if it comes back to you.
Try to see my point of view,
The skies go back from gray to blue.

Same old story not much to say,
Self-discovery is off a long way,
Look at me I’m taking it slow today
Come tomorrow and I’ll show u the way.
Same old story nothing left to say,
Life goes on it’s up to you to fade,
The damp abyss will soon go away,
Time to rejoice, this is your day.

Cross-roads will confuse the mind,
What lies ahead is up for you to find.
Tear it down, crawl your way out.
Chew it up as the thoughts begin to grind.

Dreams symbolize the potential to succeed,
So choose between your passion verses your greed,
Don’t rely on others to dictate,
Let time take it’s toll, allow your heart to lead.

Same old story not much to say,
Self-discovery is off a long way,
Look at me I’m taking it slow today
Come tomorrow and I’ll show u the way.
Same old story nothing left to say,
Life goes on it’s up to you to fade,
The damp abyss will soon go away,
Time to rejoice, this is your day.

Your day is in your hands
Time for me to leave, time for you to understand
That this is where you are set free
The shadows disappear so you can command.

Illusions

A fake sun beams it’s light through the curtains.
The smell of artificial strawberries surrounds the room.
I’m caught in this rectangular plastic box.
The wax-like flowers are in full bloom.

The serenity here is like no place near and the only thing I fear is myself.
So I clean up my mess and try to regress and put back my memories on the bookshelf.

The shadows around me throw me off.
Meditation no longer encumbers my mind.
The hard heart I once had is now turning soft,
Like a lit candle that’s been burning for some time.
The silence envelops me within its embrace.
And I won’t care if the sun doesn’t shine.
As long as I wake up right next to your face.
My hand in yours, your hand in mine.

There’s something out there that’s calling out to me.
But I’m not entirely sure of what it is.
To tell you the truth it’s scaring me.
Do I dare surrender myself to the possibility of eternal bliss?

The possibility here is only mere but I have nothing to fear except my soul.
So I offer myself to you, there’s nothing more to do, I’ll set the table for two and let destiny unfold.

The shadows around me throw me off.
Meditation no longer encumbers my mind.
The hard heart I once had is now turning soft,
Like a lit candle that’s been burning for some time.
The silence envelops me within its embrace.
And I won’t care if the sun doesn’t shine.
As long as I wake up right next to your face.
My hand in yours, your hand in mine.

Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you feel my breath lingering in your ear?
Do you feel my kiss on your lips
Even though I’m no longer there.

Do you feel my inner glow?
Do you feel my hair intertwined with yours?
Do you feel my presence
Though I hide behind closed doors?