homesickness

a vivid memory of a faint song she sang to me running her hands over my head her smell so deliciously familiar and her heart beating loudly in my ear cuddling up all in one bed fighting for the pillows the blanket the space who gets to lie down with whom "he's mine and she's mine too!" you can have them both as long as i get all of you asking me to hold the dryer for his hair without his glasses on and with his eyes squinting underneath his hair he looked so cute soapy smells i would gladly breathe everyday for tug-of-war always tug-of-war with her we provoke each other if only she knew i would give everything to her in a heartbeat they all live in me i love surprising her the most at night when she's alone and she knows i'm up to something so i'll hide behind the wall and wait for her to come out and then YELL out and she'll scream and then laugh and then he'll get angry at us for waking him up but we'll giggle on our way out anyways sometimes i'll hide behind the door or in a corner and wait and wait and wait because i'm always waiting for her to come to me i guess i get caught up in another tug-of-war with them too and that one just tears me apart and drives me up the wall because i get sick of being told how bad and unfair he has been and she has been it's fucking enough already deal with it cus i refuse to acknowledge this shit i want to have peace of mind i always give her a piece of my mind and sometimes i kind of feel bad because she tries to see my point of view but it's hard for her to step out of it she's alot more impressionable than she thinks she is just like her but no one wants to say that about themselves the passage of time is so wierd there's no set pattern yet we look for one anyways maybe we should allow ourselves to be what we are and feel whatever it is that we feel and it'll all be ok