rinse-wash-repeat

i'm not too sure what to make of this. i feel like i'm somehow out of my physical body, and observing the intricate patterns in my life like a cross-word puzzle, trying to fill in the blanks as the picture waits to be completed.

i sense something funny in the air, and the more i get a whiff of it, the more i'm intrigued. and it's because it's unexpected. i expected support, blessings, etc...instead, i'm getting discouraged, blamed, and all sorts of crazy demands and accusations. but i step back and observe.

is there a hidden meaning in all this banter? you know, when you keep hearing the same thing over and over again, and it first it elicits a reaction, but then you get fed up... and THEN you crossover. and start wondering what this is all about, and even if it has anything to do with you in the first place.

this is the "ah-HA!" moment.

so now i'm thinking it has nothing to do with me, it's a whole other issue and i'm just being used as an excuse. unfortunate, yes, but i believe that this insight helps me to stay calm and soothes my nerves. people have all kinds of irrational beliefs, and that's how they make sense of things.

i have no choice but to change my strategy, re-route and plan ahead. learning someone else's crazy steps to their dance of logic isn't easy, but i'm trying.