checking in...

i checked into a hotel today...

the doorman smiled at me. he was ever so polite. i smiled back at him as i stumbled in with my suitcases. i brushed the hair off my face as i spoke to the receptionist. she smiled at me too. she told me my room was ready and handed me the keys. i went to the elevator and waited. a tall man with dirty blond hair waited alongside me. *bing*. we walked in, and i wondered if i should make small talk, but he got off at the 4th floor. i finally got to my floor and dragged my suitcases to my room. it was a nice size, not too big but very comfortable. i set my purse on the table and went to look out at the view. it was a deserted parking lot.

i took the time to take off my shoes, my jacket, and my skirt, walked around the room barefoot. i took a peek at the bathroom...it was larger than i had expected. as i ran the bath i heard my cellphone ring. i let my voice mail take care of it. i took the rest of my clothes off, took out my razor and placed it next to the hotel shampoo. the water was nice and warm...and i let myself sink for a while. i heard the cellphone ring again. i played with the razor...the sharp, cool steel against my pruny fingers. i made a cut...not deep enough. i made another, and another, a deeper gash each time, and watched as the color of the water changed. my body went through a metamorphosis, slow tingles went up and down my legs, my arms, until i couldn't feel anything anymore. i felt myself slipping into the water, or rather the water slipping over me. something made a clanging sound, but it sounded so far away. far, far away...so far away...so...far...