very well, then

i think i stood up too quickly, because the right side of my head, towards the back, felt like something hard had just slammed into it...the pain went shooting through my skull and i froze, unable to move, just standing there hoping it would ebb away.

it was such an odd sensation to lie there for hours, not moving...just lying there as the skies outside changed with the passage of time. i realized i had forgotten what it feels like to halt yourself as the day passes you by. not part of my routine, where it's a race to see how much you can do and how fast you can do it.

i rarely have trouble waking up, never hit the snooze button, always up with the first sound of the alarm...never wasting any time. but there, right in that split of a second when the sound touches my ears and my brain processes it, i feel it then. it's tiny, lasting only a mere mini-moment if u will, but it's there...the feeling...dreading to get up...to open my eyes and start the daily show...and then POOF just like that, it's gone...forced out by "logic" and "pragmaticism"

there's a push as the winds change on me, a sense of impending ...i keep pulling the layers apart trying to discern a clearer picture from these feeble threads but i fear of delving too deep and getting myself tangled in the knots, the mesh of it all wrapping itself around me like a widow's web, weaving me into it's wrath.

very well, then.