Limited performance

there's something burning in the back of my throat. perhaps it's ash, having lodged itself inside, is now choking the insides of my esophagus. im trying not to confuse the two...the smog from outside with the smell of burning flesh within. something is shriveling up and dying...and the stench is making me nauseated. the thunderous roar from outside is not natural...it is man-made, a storm so furious even the gods wince at such displays of anguish.

it's all gray. so....gray. never have i seen such clearer shades of gray.

and you promised me that nothing would change. but i can feel the winds of change beneath my feet, carrying me off to places i'd rather not be.

please...we still have so much time, so much to do. don't cut our act short.

For you, with love and best of luck

don't ever lose your hope, your optimism and your faith. i love you. Snow on The Sahara

Only tell me that you still want me here When you wander off out there To those hills of dust and hard winds that blow In that dry white ocean alone Lost out in the desert You are lost out in the desert But to stand with you in a ring of fire I’ll forget the days gone by I’ll protect your body and guard your soul From mirages in your sight Lost out in the desert You are lost out in the desert If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track I’ll be the moon that shines on your path The sun may blind our eyes, I’ll pray the skies above For snow to fall on the sahara Just a wish and I will cover your shoulders With veils of silk and gold When the shadows come and darken your heart Leaving you with regrets so cold Lost out in the desert You are lost out in the desert If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track I’ll be the moon that shines on your path The sun may blind our eyes, I’ll pray the skies above For snow to fall on the sahara If that’s the only place where you can leave your doubts I’ll hold you up and be your way out And if we burn away, I’ll pray the skies above For snow to fall on the sahara

~Snow on the Sahara, Anggun

i thought i would go fishing...

but then i realized i don't have a rod. or bait.

so now that my apt is furnished, bed and futon and table and even a wall-hanging, not to mention the microwave and vacuum cleaner (courtesy of graduation party presents), my life is complete. interviewing for baby-sitting jobs....dont have the stomach to put up my nyu diploma up on the wall yet. i cringe everytime at the thought of it as i go out looking for baby-sitting jobs.

it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot

"orange peel on a door knob".... very ais-r, very 11th grade, very sitting on msn in my cold airconditioned living room in riyadh

we speak in codes less for ourselves and more for others. others not kowing is more important than us knowing. keeping them out is the real goal rather than keeping us in. so we block and encrypt and conceal.

oaths are over-rated.