...more mindless adventures

it's hot. and im bored.

the dog threw up on the carpet.

the kids are noisy.

the sweltering sun is not melting my problems away.

it's hot. and i'm bored.

i really dont feel like going out today.

it's hot. and im bored.

and this day is going by too slow.

it's hot. and im floored

by my immense disgust that's starting to grow.

mindless adventures

i'm living in a mad house, in a house where the walls are just as loud as the hyperactive kids, where the cat scares the dog, and commotion never ends. from living solo to living in a house full of animals and people and rules and hypocrisy and bullshit, i feel like i've travelled more than just a couple hundered miles...

i will not be coerced into changing myself, i'm too old and too tired. if i can see through the judgemental opinions and be true to myself, why can't u? or why can't u support me, atleast. whatever happened to loyalty? i stuck by you when it was your time, when you struggled, even when u were wrong, i stood up for you. and now it's your turn to defend me...but instead, you'd rather be with them.

well, guess what, i dont need to sit here and be a part of any of this. i'm at a point in my life where i can walk away, where i HAVE THE POWER to finally leave if i choose to.


now you decide if you will push me to that point.

The only way out...is through

The only way out is through,
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through...ultimately
~ Out is Through, Alanis Morissette

i'm done. no, i lied. i feel done, hell, i felt done the day i said good riddance to my thesis...which came back to me because i had good "reportable" findings which i MUST share with the world, so they will be published, but before that, i need to revise it further. great.

in a week's time, i will no longer be a college student. today was my last class. ever. at NYU.

.................did i miss something?

thanks to my new-found facebook addiction, my old ghosts have been coming back to haunt me...sometimes i feel like i'm still stuck in high school...or even 6th grade, for that matter...so where did the past 4 yrs of college go?

wherever they went, i suppose they paid off...hence i'll be in school for another 5 yrs getting a doctorate in clinical psychology. 5 years...this time, in the same city...i haven't spent 5 yrs in the same city since i was 7. i haven't been living near family since i was 14. talk about your full circle.

question is, will i look back in 2011 and think "where did those 5 yrs go?"

high school seemed to go on forever...college flew by...the amount of free time u have makes the difference i guess. which ofcourse, by 2011, i won't even know what "free time" means.

i dont want to romanticize my college years like i did with my high school years...i dont want to gloss everything over and pretend like it was all worth it in the end. i had some shitty times and i had some of the greatest moments of my life...things i learned from and things that were just plain unnecessary. but yes, a chapter of my life has come to an end...and another one begins.

at this point, i hope that i make it out, make it through, and make it through well.